The Surrogacy Process for Intended Parents
If you’re exploring surrogacy, you may be wondering what happens after that first conversation. There are people to meet, decisions to make, and a few different professionals involved. Let’s walk through the surrogacy process together.
This article focuses on gestational surrogacy, where the surrogate carries a pregnancy created through IVF and does not provide the egg.
Finding a thoughtful match
You may find a gestational surrogate through an agency, a clinic, or someone you already know. If you decide to work with My Donor Connection, we’ll talk with you about your needs and expectations and answer your questions.
When you’re ready, we’ll help you create a profile to share with potential surrogates. For a potential match, we’ll coordinate medical-record review with your IVF clinic and a Zoom meeting so you can get to know each other. Matching is a mutual decision. Both you and the surrogate need space to ask questions and consider whether the relationship feels right.
Talk about communication, appointment involvement, and the kind of relationship you each hope to have. Important views about pregnancy decisions also deserve careful discussion with the professionals supporting your arrangement.
There’s no single matching timeline for every family. We’ll discuss your preferences, share current expectations, and keep you informed as we explore potential matches.
Medical screening and counseling
The fertility clinic determines the medical evaluation and testing needed for your arrangement. This generally includes review of the surrogate’s health and pregnancy history, a physical examination, infectious-disease testing, and evaluation of the uterus. The clinic decides which specific tests or procedures are appropriate.
Psychological evaluation and counseling help the surrogate and intended parents explore expectations, support, and the emotional aspects of the journey. Intended parents and egg or sperm providers may also need screening or counseling. Your clinic will explain who needs what and when.
Legal arrangements and financial planning
You and your surrogate should each have independent legal counsel experienced in assisted reproduction. Your attorneys help you understand the agreement, responsibilities, financial arrangements, and the process for establishing parentage. Laws vary by state, so discuss the locations involved early.
Before treatment begins, the necessary agreement and legal clearance should be in place. Confirm the budget, insurance review, and escrow arrangements with the appropriate professionals. Parentage planning should begin with your attorney early in the process; the timing of legal steps depends on the applicable law.
Preparing for embryo transfer
With the required clearances in place, the clinic will explain the transfer plan and any medication calendar. Discuss whether you’ll attend with your surrogate and the clinic, including their preferences and visitor policies.
The clinic will schedule pregnancy testing and, if appropriate, follow-up blood tests and ultrasound. An initial positive test is one step in monitoring a developing pregnancy. If a transfer doesn’t result in pregnancy, give yourselves time to process the news. Your clinic can discuss what it learned and possible options. Another transfer depends on medical advice, available embryos, the agreement, and everyone’s willingness to continue.
Pregnancy and staying connected
After early monitoring, the fertility clinic will coordinate the transition to obstetric care. The timing depends on the care plan.
Agree on how you’ll stay in touch and revisit those expectations as the pregnancy progresses. Texts, calls, or joining appointments can help you feel connected when everyone is comfortable with the plan. Appointment participation and medical updates should respect your surrogate’s consent, privacy, and the provider’s policies. Her medical team guides her care.
Planning for delivery and afterward
Discuss hospital plans, travel, and parentage paperwork with your surrogate, attorneys, and care team before the due date. Leave room for plans to change based on medical needs and hospital policies. Include postpartum recovery and your expectations for contact after birth in these conversations.
My Donor Connection helps with matching and coordination. Your clinic manages fertility treatment, your surrogate’s obstetric team manages pregnancy care, and your independent attorneys handle legal advice. Knowing whom to call can make the next step feel more manageable.
Getting started
If you’d like to explore working with My Donor Connection, register to begin the conversation. Bring your questions, including the ones you’re still figuring out how to ask.
This article offers general education about gestational surrogacy. Consult your own medical team and independent attorney about your circumstances.
Sources and further reading
- More surrogacy articles
- ASRM — Recommendations for practices using gestational carriers
- ASRM — Consideration of the gestational carrier
- ASRM ReproductiveFacts — Third Party Reproduction
