Writing your Dear Surrogate Letter

Breastmilk Pumping & Shipping: A Sweet Journey for Surrogates and Intended Parents

 

As the big day draws near, it’s time to chat about a very special connection that can continue even after delivery – breastmilk!

For surrogates who choose breastmilk pumping, this is a beautiful way to keep nourishing the baby while adding another layer to the incredible gift you’ve already given. Plus, it’s a great way to stay involved in the baby’s early development.

To make sure everyone’s on the same page, here’s a fun little roadmap to guide you through the world of breastmilk pumping and shipping!

The Essentials of Pumping & Shipping Breastmilk

Compensation for Pumping: A Labor of Love

Surrogates will receive a flat rate of $250 per week for all that pumping magic!

This is your well-deserved reward for the time, effort, and love that goes into expressing and storing the milk. After all, breastmilk pumping is a serious commitment, and we want to make sure you’re taken care of.

Supply Reimbursement: Keeping the Milk Flowing

Intended parents, here’s your part in this milk-making adventure! You’ll be responsible for covering all the supplies your surrogate needs to keep the milk flowing smoothly, such as:

  • Breast pumps and all the nifty accessories that come with them
  • Milk storage bags or containers (because those liquid gold drops need a safe home!)
  • Shipping supplies like coolers and ice packs to keep the milk fresh

Your surrogate will provide our team with receipts so we can reimburse them accurately!

The First Few Drops: Patience is Key

Right after delivery, it might take a few days for the breastmilk to fully come in.

So, don’t be surprised if the first few shipments are on the lighter side. It’s all part of the process as the milk supply gradually ramps up.

Supplementation: A Backup Plan

It’s always smart to have a backup plan, especially when it comes to feeding your little one.

Intended Parents- have some formula on hand, just in case. Those first few days might require a little extra help while waiting for the milk supply to catch up.

Shipping Schedule: Let’s Get Organized

Typically, milk is collected and shipped weekly. Both parties should agree on a schedule that works best for everyone.

Keeping things consistent will make sure that baby always has a fresh supply of milk on the way!

Flexibility & Understanding: Go with the Flow

Lactation can be a bit unpredictable – some days it’s abundant, and other days, not so much.

That’s totally normal! The key is to stay flexible and open to adjustments, always keeping the baby’s well-being (and the surrogate’s sanity!) in mind.

Communication: The Secret Ingredient

Like with everything in life, communication is key!

Surrogates, keep your intended parents in the loop about any changes in your milk supply or if there might be a delay in shipping.

Intended parents, if there comes a time when you no longer need or wish to receive breastmilk, please give your surrogate reasonable notice.

Surrogates, the same goes for you – if you plan to stop pumping, a heads-up is always appreciated.

 

This guide is here to help you navigate the ins and outs of breastmilk pumping and shipping for surrogates,  ensuring that everyone is well-prepared and excited for this part of the journey.

With a little bit of planning, a lot of love, and plenty of communication, this process can be a positive and rewarding experience for everyone involved.

 

Want to learn more about Surrogacy? Check out our Blog for helpful information about your surrogacy journey!

Ready to get started? Register today to gain access to our Surrogate Database, where you can expect to begin seeing profiles in as little as 2-3 weeks.

You determine your requested compensation and benefits with our guidance. We’ll talk through current trends and available options, then explore matching opportunities that align with your expectations.

At My Donor Connection, surrogates design their own compensation packages. Your package includes the base compensation you request, additional benefits, and arrangements for expenses associated with your journey. The figures in this guide are examples to help you understand the different components. They are not an agency-set pay scale, minimum, or maximum.

If you are considering becoming a gestational surrogate, understanding compensation is an important part of deciding whether the journey fits your life and your family.

I meet personally with every MDC surrogate to walk through her proposed package. We discuss what each item means, answer questions, and consider the time, responsibilities, and family needs involved.

I do not tell you how much you should make. You decide what compensation you want to request. We then seek intended parents who are comfortable with your proposed package, and the agreed terms are documented in your surrogacy agreement.

Who Decides Your Surrogate Compensation?

At My Donor Connection, you choose the compensation package you want to propose.

You can request a different base amount than the examples on this page. You can also discuss allowances, lost wages, childcare, travel, recovery support, and other needs that matter to your family.

Our role is to help you understand the options and build a clear, thoughtful package. You do not have to fit your life into a preset compensation schedule.

The final package must be agreed upon with your intended parents and reviewed with your independent attorney before you proceed.

What Is Included in a Surrogate Compensation Package?

A gestational surrogate’s financial package generally has three parts:

Component What it means
Base compensation The amount agreed upon for carrying the pregnancy, paid according to your agreement
Additional compensation and allowances Payments for specific milestones, circumstances, or needs, such as embryo transfer, maternity clothing, or a cesarean delivery
Expense coverage and reimbursement Arrangements for eligible journey-related costs, such as medical care, travel, and lost wages

These categories matter when comparing packages. A headline total may include reimbursements or payments that apply only in certain circumstances.

We will help you understand what is base compensation, what is additional, and what depends on your individual journey.

How Much Can a First-Time Surrogate Request?

At MDC, a first-time surrogate can propose the amount she feels is appropriate for her journey. Being a first-time surrogate does not mean you must accept a fixed rate.

For illustration, a base amount of $60,000–$70,000 would equal ten monthly installments of $6,000–$7,000.

That example explains how payments can work. It does not define what you are allowed to request, and you are not limited to that range.

Your proposed compensation can reflect your responsibilities, work schedule, family needs, and the commitment involved in becoming a surrogate.

How Much Do Experienced Surrogates Get Paid?

Experienced surrogates may request higher compensation based on their previous journeys and the package they want for their next experience.

At MDC, repeat surrogates design their own packages too. We discuss what worked well previously, what they would like to change, and what support they want this time.

There is no fixed repeat-surrogate rate that every woman must accept.

When Do Surrogate Payments Start?

In the example schedule below, monthly base compensation begins after a fetal heartbeat is confirmed. Other payments, such as medication-start and embryo-transfer fees, may occur earlier.

An illustrative payment schedule includes:

  • Base compensation divided into ten equal monthly installments.
  • Monthly installments beginning after confirmation of a fetal heartbeat.
  • Any remaining base balance paid within 14 days after delivery, subject to the agreement’s delivery and pregnancy-loss provisions.

Your actual payment amounts, milestones, and timing will be outlined in your signed agreement. Payments are administered through a third-party escrow provider.

Examples of Additional Surrogate Compensation and Benefits

Every dollar amount below is an example for discussion, not a required amount or a limit on your request. Some items apply only if a particular event occurs. Coverage, eligibility, documentation, and payment terms are established in your agreement.

Milestone and Additional Compensation Examples

Item Illustrative amount
Starting cycle medications $500 per cycle
Embryo transfer $1,500
Mock cycle $500
Dropped or canceled cycle $250, when applicable under the agreement
Multiple pregnancy $7,500, with the payment trigger and structure defined in the agreement
Cesarean delivery $5,000
Invasive procedure inconvenience fee $1,500
Providing breast milk, if mutually agreed $250 per week
Loss of a reproductive organ Up to $10,000 under the example provision, with qualifying circumstances and timing defined in the agreement

Allowance and Family-Support Examples

Item Illustrative arrangement
Monthly non-accountable allowance $300 for miscellaneous expenses
Maternity clothing $750 at 20 weeks
Housekeeping $150 every other week, beginning at 20 weeks and continuing through one month after delivery
Physician-ordered bed rest allowance $250 per week
Lost wages Coverage for eligible lost wages, with calculation and documentation requirements defined in the agreement
Travel An example planning budget of approximately $3,500 for eligible mileage, airfare, lodging, meals, and related costs

A travel budget is a planning estimate. We discuss the anticipated travel for your match and document how eligible expenses will be handled.

Medical, Emotional, and Insurance Support

Your package also addresses support beyond compensation, including:

  • Psychological support: An example provision covers up to 12 sessions.
  • Life insurance: Coverage and premium arrangements are discussed before the journey. An example coverage amount is $500,000; actual premiums depend on the policy and underwriting.
  • Medical expenses: The agreement identifies responsibility for surrogacy-related insurance premiums, deductibles, copays, and eligible uncovered expenses.

Medical and travel expense arrangements are addressed separately from your base compensation. We review these details so you understand how expenses will be paid and what documentation may be needed.

What Happens to Compensation if a Pregnancy Ends Early?

Pregnancy-loss provisions are an important part of reviewing your package, even though they can be difficult to discuss.

The following is an illustrative schedule, not a promise that applies to every MDC journey:

Circumstance Example payment provision
Positive pregnancy test without a confirmed fetal heartbeat, or pregnancy loss before the first base payment $500
Pregnancy loss before 16 weeks Base payments received through that point
Pregnancy loss from 16 to before 22 weeks One additional monthly base payment
Pregnancy loss from 22 through 30 weeks Two additional monthly base payments
Pregnancy loss after 30 weeks Remaining base compensation balance

The exact gestational thresholds, payment terms, and treatment of different circumstances must be clearly defined in your agreement. We will walk through these provisions with you, and your independent attorney will review the legal terms.

Can You Customize Your Surrogate Benefits?

Yes. You can propose changes to both your base compensation and the additional benefits in your package.

For example, your priorities might include support for missed work, childcare during appointments, housekeeping, or postpartum recovery.

You do not need to know every possible line item before speaking with us. We will explain the options and help you identify questions to consider.

If an example does not fit your circumstances, we talk about it. The purpose is to build a package that reflects your life and that you feel comfortable proposing.

How Do You Build Your Compensation Package With MDC?

We start with a personal conversation by phone or Zoom.

Together, we:

  1. Discuss your family, work, and anticipated needs.
  2. Review base compensation and each additional line item.
  3. Explain payment milestones, expense coverage, and documentation.
  4. Develop the package you want to propose.
  5. Seek a compatible match and confirm the agreed terms through the legal process.

My Donor Connection has supported family-building journeys since 2011. Personal conversations and informed decisions are central to how we work.

Frequently Asked Questions About Surrogate Pay

Does My Donor Connection set my compensation?

No. At MDC, you design the compensation package you want to request. We provide information and examples, help you consider your needs, and seek intended parents who agree to the package.

Can I request more than the amounts listed here?

Yes. The figures on this page are illustrative. They are not a ceiling on your base compensation or benefits.

Is base compensation the same as total compensation?

No. Base compensation is one part of the package. Additional payments, allowances, and expense reimbursements are separate, and some depend on milestones or circumstances that may not occur.

Are medical expenses deducted from my base compensation?

At MDC, surrogacy-related medical expense responsibilities are addressed separately from base compensation in your agreement. We review the insurance and expense arrangements before you proceed.

Do surrogates receive payment if a cycle is canceled?

A package can include a canceled-cycle payment and other milestone payments. Whether a payment is due depends on what occurred and the terms of the signed agreement.

Do surrogates get paid if an embryo transfer does not result in pregnancy?

Under a package with an embryo-transfer fee, that fee is paid according to the agreement even if the transfer does not result in pregnancy. Monthly pregnancy-based compensation follows separate payment triggers.

Is surrogate compensation taxable?

Ask a qualified tax professional to review your individual circumstances and agreement. Do not assume that compensation is tax-free, and include tax planning when considering your requested package.

Do I need to choose my compensation before contacting MDC?

No. You can come to us with questions, priorities, or a proposed amount. We will walk through the package together so you can make an informed decision.

Learn More About Becoming a Surrogate

Your compensation package should reflect the commitment you are making and the needs of your family.

At My Donor Connection, you have a voice in shaping that package from the beginning. We take time to explain the process, answer your questions, and help you decide what feels right for you.

Visit our surrogacy page to learn about requirements and next steps, or contact our team to schedule a conversation.

You do not have to accept someone else’s idea of what your journey should be worth. Let’s talk about the package you want to create.

The amounts and schedules in this article are examples for discussion. Your signed surrogacy agreement establishes the compensation, benefits, expense responsibilities, and payment conditions for your journey.

Take our quick 2-minute prescreen questionnaire to see if you are eligible!

 

Writing your Dear Surrogate Letter

Exploring a Match

Surrogacy is a beautiful journey, but it’s important to remember that surrogacy is a two-way street. Surrogates have just as much say in the type of match they are looking for as the intended parents do. At our surrogacy agency, we take pride in facilitating successful matches. We understand the importance of finding the right match for both parties. It is crucial to connect intended parents and surrogates who share the same philosophies on pregnancy.

Preferences such as marital status, location, and level of communication, are carefully considered to ensure a harmonious match. Our matching process is thorough and designed to create a successful match. Both parties will have a chance to review each other’s profiles. If both parties are interested, we will share the surrogate’s medical records with your IVF clinic. Once we have the clinic’s approval, we’ll proceed with scheduling a match call over Zoom. This will give all parties a chance to meet before officially confirming the match.

Presenting Your Story

Your first introduction to your surrogate will be through her detailed profile, which includes information on her family, lifestyle, pregnancies, occupation, and photos. Intended parents also provide a one-page letter introducing themselves to the surrogate. This is a chance to share more information about yourselves and your family members, including pets. Introduce yourselves. Talk about where you live and the things you love to do. Share the journey that led you to surrogacy. Remember to include photos! Think of all of the information you would love to see in a surrogate profile, as she is also curious about the intended parents she will potentially start her journey with.

Finding the right surrogate may seem daunting, but with the help of an agency and careful consideration of preferences, intended parents and surrogates can form a successful partnership. Surrogacy is a journey rooted in trust, mutual respect, and open communication. When both parties are in sync, it creates a supportive and positive environment for the surrogate, intended parents, and, ultimately, the baby.

Want to learn more about Surrogacy? Check out our Blog for helpful information about your surrogacy journey!

Ready to get started? Register today to gain access to our Surrogate Database, where you can expect to begin seeing profiles in as little as 2-3 weeks.