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Misconceptions about Surrogacy

Let’s talk about surrogacy – it’s a fantastic option for parents who are unable to carry a child on their own. Unfortunately, there are a lot of myths and misconceptions out there about surrogacy that are perpetuated by the media. So, let’s try to set the record straight!

Surrogacy is all about Compensation

One of the biggest surrogacy misconceptions is that surrogates do it for the money. While compensation is a factor, it’s unfair to assume that surrogates are only doing it for financial gain. The decision to become a surrogate is often rooted in a deep altruistic desire to help others experience the joy of parenthood. Many women are drawn to surrogacy out of genuine compassion for those who are unable to carry a child on their own. These women see pregnancy as a profound experience. Surrogates feel a calling to share that gift with individuals or couples longing to build their families. Their motivation stems from a selfless willingness to embark on a journey that transcends their own desires, driven by the belief that everyone deserves the chance to experience the love and fulfillment that comes with parenthood, regardless of biological obstacles.

Surrogates have legal rights to the child they carry

Some people worry that surrogates might change their minds and want to keep the baby. However, this is extremely rare. Surrogates undergo a rigorous screening process, including psychological testing and legal contracts, to ensure that they understand the terms of the arrangement and that any biological rights they may have are terminated. So, while it’s understandable to worry about this, it’s very unlikely to happen. While surrogates do care for the baby they’re carrying, they understand that they’re simply helping another couple become parents. It’s important to remember that surrogates aren’t “giving up” the baby – they’re giving the baby back to its intended parents.

Surrogates are the biological mother

Finally, another common surrogacy misconception is that some believe that the baby will be genetically related to the surrogate. This may have been true in the past, but now gestational surrogacy allows for the intended mother’s eggs and the intended father’s sperm (or donor eggs or sperm) to be used to create an embryo, which is then implanted in the surrogate. This means that the surrogate is simply carrying the intended parents’ biological child and is not genetically related to the baby.

 

Surrogacy can be an incredible option for intended parents who are unable to carry a child on their own. While there are myths and misconceptions out there, it’s important to remember that surrogates are doing this out of a desire to help others become parents and that the process is carefully regulated to ensure that everyone’s needs are met.

 

Intended Parents – looking to learn more? You can check out our Intended Parents page for more helpful resources.

Are you interested in becoming a Surrogate? Our Surrogacy page has helpful information, or you can contact us to schedule a consultation.

Take our quick 2-minute prescreen questionnaire to see if you are eligible!

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The Surrogacy Process: What to Expect During Your Journey

The gestational surrogacy process includes an application, matching with intended parents, medical and psychological screening, legal agreements, embryo transfer, pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum recovery. At My Donor Connection, our team helps you understand each stage and supports you throughout the journey.

Maybe you love being pregnant and have wondered about helping someone become a parent. Maybe you know someone who struggled to build their family. Or maybe the compensation could make a meaningful difference for your own family.

Whatever brought you here, you are welcome to ask questions. You do not need to arrive knowing every detail or having already decided to become a surrogate.

My Donor Connection has supported family-building journeys since 2011. We believe you deserve clear information, personal attention, and the space to decide whether surrogacy feels right for you.

What Is Gestational Surrogacy?

Gestational surrogacy is an arrangement in which a woman carries a pregnancy for another person or family using an embryo created through IVF. The embryo is created using eggs and sperm from the intended parents, donors, or a combination of both.

A gestational surrogate does not use her own eggs and is not genetically related to the baby she carries. My Donor Connection coordinates gestational surrogacy journeys.

Step 1: Apply and Get to Know Our Team

Your journey begins with our pre-qualification survey and application process.

We review your initial information, help you complete the next steps, and arrange a conversation about your health history, previous pregnancies, family support, and reasons for considering surrogacy.

We also help gather the medical records and other information needed for review.

This is your opportunity to ask questions, including:

  • What responsibilities would I have as a surrogate?
  • How much travel might be involved?
  • How could appointments affect my work and family?
  • What screening will I need?
  • What support will I receive?

Surrogacy involves medical appointments, medications, and the physical and emotional demands of pregnancy. We want you to understand that commitment before deciding to move forward.

Step 2: Design Your Compensation Package

At My Donor Connection, you design the compensation package you want to request. We do not tell you how much you should make.

I meet personally with every surrogate to discuss base compensation, additional benefits, expense coverage, and the needs of her family.

We explain each line item so you can make informed choices about what you want to propose. Your compensation preferences become part of finding a compatible match, and the final agreed terms are documented in your legal agreement.

Step 3: Find Intended Parents Who Feel Like the Right Fit

Matching is about more than finding someone who needs a surrogate. It is about finding people whose expectations and values align with yours.

We help prepare your profile and learn what matters to you in a journey. Important conversations include:

  • Communication during pregnancy and after delivery.
  • Attendance at appointments and the birth.
  • Embryo-transfer preferences.
  • Prenatal testing and views about termination or selective reduction.
  • Travel, timing, and other practical needs.

When a potential match is identified, you have an opportunity to learn about the intended parents and connect through a video call or another agreed format.

Matching is a mutual decision. You should feel comfortable with the intended parents, and they should feel comfortable with you. Our team helps guide the conversation and address questions before either side commits.

Step 4: Complete Medical and Psychological Screening

The intended parents’ fertility clinic reviews your medical history and determines the screening required for your journey. Some clinics review records before a match is finalized.

Screening may include a physical examination, bloodwork, infectious disease testing, cervical screening if due, and an evaluation of the uterus. The clinic determines the specific tests and procedures you need.

Psychological screening provides an opportunity to discuss the emotional aspects of surrogacy, your support system, and expectations for the relationship.

Travel to the intended parents’ clinic may be required. We help coordinate the arrangements and explain what to expect so you feel prepared.

Submitting an application or finding a potential match does not guarantee medical approval. The fertility clinic makes the final medical eligibility decision.

Step 5: Review Your Legal Agreement and Financial Arrangements

You will have your own attorney to review the surrogacy agreement and represent your interests. The intended parents have separate legal representation.

Your agreement addresses matters such as compensation, expense responsibilities, insurance, expectations during pregnancy, and plans for delivery.

Your attorney explains the terms, answers your questions, and helps negotiate changes. The intended parents cover your legal representation as part of the journey.

Our team also coordinates insurance review and the establishment of a third-party escrow account for funds associated with your arrangement.

Medical and legal clearance must be in place before proceeding with the transfer cycle under the clinic’s requirements. You should understand the agreement and feel comfortable with its terms before signing.

Step 6: Follow Your Clinic’s Medication Calendar and Complete Embryo Transfer

Once the required clearances are complete, the fertility clinic provides your medication instructions and monitoring schedule.

Your calendar explains which medications to take, when to take them, and when to attend appointments. The medication plan and its duration depend on your clinic and protocol.

The clinic will prepare you for embryo transfer and explain the procedure and follow-up instructions. Our team helps coordinate the practical details, including travel when needed.

You will receive a scheduled date for blood pregnancy testing after transfer. If the result is positive, the clinic will arrange further monitoring and an ultrasound.

An embryo transfer does not always result in pregnancy. If a transfer is unsuccessful, the clinic, surrogate, and intended parents discuss possible next steps, with support from our team.

Step 7: Continue Pregnancy Care and Stay Connected

The fertility clinic monitors the early pregnancy and tells you when to transition to your local OB or other pregnancy-care provider.

Many appointments will be familiar from your previous pregnancies, but your care is individualized. Additional monitoring may be recommended.

During pregnancy, you and the intended parents follow the communication expectations discussed during matching. That might include regular messages, updates after appointments, or attending selected appointments together.

Our team remains available to help coordinate updates, answer process questions, and work through concerns.

Monthly base compensation begins at the milestone specified in your agreement, often after confirmation of a fetal heartbeat. Other payments may occur earlier. Your escrow provider administers payments according to the agreed schedule.

Step 8: Prepare for Delivery and Postpartum Recovery

As delivery approaches, we help you and the intended parents discuss hospital arrangements, communication, and the preferences established for the birth.

Your medical team directs your care, while your attorneys guide the legal steps associated with parentage. Delivery plans may need to change based on medical needs or hospital policies.

Your journey includes your recovery after birth.

We stay connected during the postpartum period and help coordinate the support and benefits included in your agreement. If you are interested in providing breast milk, that is a separate conversation about your willingness, practical arrangements, and compensation.

Your physical recovery and emotional well-being deserve attention throughout this final stage.

How Long Does the Surrogacy Process Take?

A gestational surrogacy journey can take a year or longer from application through delivery, followed by postpartum recovery.

There is no guaranteed timeline. Medical-record collection, finding a compatible match, clinic screening, legal work, and transfer scheduling all affect how long the process takes. An unsuccessful transfer can also extend the journey.

We will discuss your availability and keep you informed about what comes next.

Frequently Asked Questions About the Surrogacy Journey

Do I have to commit before asking questions?

No. You can contact My Donor Connection to learn about the process before deciding whether you want to apply or proceed.

Can I choose the intended parents I work with?

Matching is a mutual decision. You have an opportunity to learn about potential intended parents, discuss expectations, and decide whether the relationship feels right.

Will I need to travel?

Travel may be needed for medical screening and embryo transfer. The amount depends on your location and the intended parents’ clinic. We discuss travel requirements and expense arrangements before you proceed.

Who determines whether I am medically eligible?

Our team reviews your initial qualifications and helps collect records. The fertility clinic determines medical eligibility and the screening required.

Do I get my own attorney?

Yes. You have independent legal representation to review the agreement and advocate for your interests. The intended parents cover that representation as part of the arrangement.

Who decides my compensation?

At My Donor Connection, you design the package you want to request. We help you understand the components, seek a compatible match, and document the final agreed terms through the legal process.

What happens if the first embryo transfer does not work?

Your clinic will discuss the result and possible next steps. Any additional transfer plans depend on medical guidance, everyone’s willingness to proceed, and the agreement.

Does MDC continue supporting me after delivery?

Yes. Our support continues through postpartum recovery and the remaining coordination needs of your journey.

Ready to Learn More About Becoming a Surrogate?

You deserve to understand the process, feel heard, and have support as you consider this decision.

At My Donor Connection, we take time to learn about you and your family, explain each stage, and help you explore whether gestational surrogacy is the right fit.

Visit our surrogacy page to learn more or contact our team to schedule a conversation. We would love to hear your questions.

BECOME A SURROGATE
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The Surrogacy Process for Intended Parents

If you’re exploring surrogacy, you may be wondering what happens after that first conversation. There are people to meet, decisions to make, and a few different professionals involved. Let’s walk through the surrogacy process together.

This article focuses on gestational surrogacy, where the surrogate carries a pregnancy created through IVF and does not provide the egg.

Finding a thoughtful match

You may find a gestational surrogate through an agency, a clinic, or someone you already know. If you decide to work with My Donor Connection, we’ll talk with you about your needs and expectations and answer your questions.

When you’re ready, we’ll help you create a profile to share with potential surrogates. For a potential match, we’ll coordinate medical-record review with your IVF clinic and a Zoom meeting so you can get to know each other. Matching is a mutual decision. Both you and the surrogate need space to ask questions and consider whether the relationship feels right.

Talk about communication, appointment involvement, and the kind of relationship you each hope to have. Important views about pregnancy decisions also deserve careful discussion with the professionals supporting your arrangement.

There’s no single matching timeline for every family. We’ll discuss your preferences, share current expectations, and keep you informed as we explore potential matches.

Medical screening and counseling

The fertility clinic determines the medical evaluation and testing needed for your arrangement. This generally includes review of the surrogate’s health and pregnancy history, a physical examination, infectious-disease testing, and evaluation of the uterus. The clinic decides which specific tests or procedures are appropriate.

Psychological evaluation and counseling help the surrogate and intended parents explore expectations, support, and the emotional aspects of the journey. Intended parents and egg or sperm providers may also need screening or counseling. Your clinic will explain who needs what and when.

Legal arrangements and financial planning

You and your surrogate should each have independent legal counsel experienced in assisted reproduction. Your attorneys help you understand the agreement, responsibilities, financial arrangements, and the process for establishing parentage. Laws vary by state, so discuss the locations involved early.

Before treatment begins, the necessary agreement and legal clearance should be in place. Confirm the budget, insurance review, and escrow arrangements with the appropriate professionals. Parentage planning should begin with your attorney early in the process; the timing of legal steps depends on the applicable law.

Preparing for embryo transfer

With the required clearances in place, the clinic will explain the transfer plan and any medication calendar. Discuss whether you’ll attend with your surrogate and the clinic, including their preferences and visitor policies.

The clinic will schedule pregnancy testing and, if appropriate, follow-up blood tests and ultrasound. An initial positive test is one step in monitoring a developing pregnancy. If a transfer doesn’t result in pregnancy, give yourselves time to process the news. Your clinic can discuss what it learned and possible options. Another transfer depends on medical advice, available embryos, the agreement, and everyone’s willingness to continue.

Pregnancy and staying connected

After early monitoring, the fertility clinic will coordinate the transition to obstetric care. The timing depends on the care plan.

Agree on how you’ll stay in touch and revisit those expectations as the pregnancy progresses. Texts, calls, or joining appointments can help you feel connected when everyone is comfortable with the plan. Appointment participation and medical updates should respect your surrogate’s consent, privacy, and the provider’s policies. Her medical team guides her care.

Planning for delivery and afterward

Discuss hospital plans, travel, and parentage paperwork with your surrogate, attorneys, and care team before the due date. Leave room for plans to change based on medical needs and hospital policies. Include postpartum recovery and your expectations for contact after birth in these conversations.

My Donor Connection helps with matching and coordination. Your clinic manages fertility treatment, your surrogate’s obstetric team manages pregnancy care, and your independent attorneys handle legal advice. Knowing whom to call can make the next step feel more manageable.

Getting started

If you’d like to explore working with My Donor Connection, register to begin the conversation. Bring your questions, including the ones you’re still figuring out how to ask.

This article offers general education about gestational surrogacy. Consult your own medical team and independent attorney about your circumstances.

Sources and further reading