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Misconceptions about Surrogacy

Let’s talk about surrogacy – it’s a fantastic option for parents who are unable to carry a child on their own. Unfortunately, there are a lot of myths and misconceptions out there about surrogacy that are perpetuated by the media. So, let’s try to set the record straight!

Surrogacy is all about Compensation

One of the biggest surrogacy misconceptions is that surrogates do it for the money. While compensation is a factor, it’s unfair to assume that surrogates are only doing it for financial gain. The decision to become a surrogate is often rooted in a deep altruistic desire to help others experience the joy of parenthood. Many women are drawn to surrogacy out of genuine compassion for those who are unable to carry a child on their own. These women see pregnancy as a profound experience. Surrogates feel a calling to share that gift with individuals or couples longing to build their families. Their motivation stems from a selfless willingness to embark on a journey that transcends their own desires, driven by the belief that everyone deserves the chance to experience the love and fulfillment that comes with parenthood, regardless of biological obstacles.

Surrogates have legal rights to the child they carry

Some people worry that surrogates might change their minds and want to keep the baby. However, this is extremely rare. Surrogates undergo a rigorous screening process, including psychological testing and legal contracts, to ensure that they understand the terms of the arrangement and that any biological rights they may have are terminated. So, while it’s understandable to worry about this, it’s very unlikely to happen. While surrogates do care for the baby they’re carrying, they understand that they’re simply helping another couple become parents. It’s important to remember that surrogates aren’t “giving up” the baby – they’re giving the baby back to its intended parents.

Surrogates are the biological mother

Finally, another common surrogacy misconception is that some believe that the baby will be genetically related to the surrogate. This may have been true in the past, but now gestational surrogacy allows for the intended mother’s eggs and the intended father’s sperm (or donor eggs or sperm) to be used to create an embryo, which is then implanted in the surrogate. This means that the surrogate is simply carrying the intended parents’ biological child and is not genetically related to the baby.

 

Surrogacy can be an incredible option for intended parents who are unable to carry a child on their own. While there are myths and misconceptions out there, it’s important to remember that surrogates are doing this out of a desire to help others become parents and that the process is carefully regulated to ensure that everyone’s needs are met.

 

Intended Parents – looking to learn more? You can check out our Intended Parents page for more helpful resources.

Are you interested in becoming a Surrogate? Our Surrogacy page has helpful information, or you can contact us to schedule a consultation.

Take our quick 2-minute prescreen questionnaire to see if you are eligible!

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Surrogacy Journey: What to expect!

If you’re here, there’s a good chance surrogacy has been on your mind. Maybe you’re curious. Maybe you love being pregnant and want to help another family. Maybe the compensation could truly help your own family right now.

Whatever brought you here, I’m glad you found us!

I know this process can feel exciting, but also intimidating when you start searching for answers. My goal is to make it feel human, clear, and supported from day one.

You are not just filling out an application here. You’re talking to real people who care deeply about the women we work with.

Our surrogates are responsible and mature. We rely on you to make doctor appointments, take medication as instructed, and understand and accept the risks of pregnancy, both physical and emotional. But let’s not forget that you’ll be undergoing one of the most amazing journeys and helping another couple achieve their dreams.

Step 1: Finding your match

It all starts with your application. Once we receive it, someone from our team  (a real person, not a robot) will reach out to set up a conversation. We’ll go over your qualifications, answer every question you have, and make sure you have everything you need to feel good about moving forward.

If you decide to proceed, we’ll build out a profile for you that gets shared with intended parents who are looking for their perfect match. We take the matching process seriously. We want to connect you with a family that genuinely aligns with your values and your vision for the pregnancy, because this relationship is so important.

Once we identify a potential match, we’ll set up a time for you to connect with the intended parents,  by phone, video, or in person. You’ll know pretty quickly if it feels right.

Step 2: Medical and psychological testing

After a match is confirmed, the intended parents’ IVF clinic will initiate medical and psychological screening. This typically includes a physical exam, a Pap smear, infectious disease testing, a hysteroscopy, and a psychological evaluation. You’ll travel to the clinic for this,  and we’ll be right there with you throughout the process to answer questions and make sure you feel prepared.

Step 3: Legal clearance

Before anything medical happens, everyone gets their own attorney. The intended parents’ attorney drafts the legal agreement, and we connect you with an attorney of your own, at no cost to you, to review everything, ask questions, and negotiate any changes. You should feel completely comfortable with every detail before you sign.

Step 4: Your cycle begins

Once medical and legal clearance are both confirmed — 🎉 — the clinic puts together a medication calendar customized for you. You’ll take medications for a few weeks leading up to the embryo transfer, and typically through the first trimester to support healthy hormone levels for the baby.

About ten days after the transfer, you’ll take a pregnancy test. If it’s positive, you’ll have a few follow-up blood draws over the next couple of weeks to confirm that hormone levels are rising well. About a month after transfer, an ultrasound will confirm the pregnancy.

During your first trimester, the fertility clinic manages your care. As you get closer to the end of the first trimester, your care transitions to your own OB,  and from there, it looks and feels just like your previous pregnancies.

Step 5: Throughout the pregnancy

Your compensation typically begins once the pregnancy is confirmed and continues throughout your journey. From there, you and the intended parents decide together how you’d like to stay connected — some surrogates love having the parents at appointments, others prefer to send updates directly. There’s no right or wrong way, and we’ll support whatever works best for everyone.

As you near your due date, arrangements are made for the parents to be at the hospital for the birth of their baby. It’s a moment that is genuinely hard to put into words.

Becoming a surrogate is an amazing gift, and one that will change your life! We’re here to support you every step of the way, and we hope you’ll join us on this incredible journey.

Interested in learning more? Check out our Surrogacy page for helpful information or contact us to schedule a consultation.

 

BECOME A SURROGATE
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Surrogacy Process: What to expect!

Embarking on a surrogacy journey is both exciting and rewarding, and we’re here to make every step of the way as smooth and enjoyable as possible. Let’s walk through the surrogacy process together!

Finding a Gestational Surrogate

The first step in your surrogacy process is finding a gestational surrogate. Whether through a clinic, an agency, or a known surrogate like a friend or family member, the choice is yours. If you decide to work with My Donor Connection, one of our friendly team members will reach out to learn more about your needs and expectations and answer all your questions.

When ready, we’ll help you create a profile to share with potential surrogates. Once you find a promising match, we’ll send her medical records to your IVF clinic for approval and set up a Zoom meeting so you can get to know each other.

We put a lot of effort into finding the right match the first time, considering factors like health, age, experience, and openness to ongoing communication. We aim to connect you with a surrogate who aligns with your dreams and values.

Medical Screening

As your surrogacy journey continues, the next step is medical screening. Once matched, your surrogate will undergo thorough medical and psychological testing to ensure she’s in good health. This includes:

  • Physical and Pap smear
  • Infectious disease testing
  • Hysteroscopy (a procedure to examine the uterus and cervix)
  • Psychological evaluation and personality inventory
  • *Occasionally, a mock cycle may be recommended to see how the surrogate responds to the medications.

Legal Arrangements

Legal arrangements are a crucial part of the surrogacy process. Your attorney will draft a detailed agreement covering all aspects of the surrogacy arrangement. The surrogate will have her attorney assist with negotiations. Once the agreement is signed, you’ll fund an escrow account for all related expenses.

As the pregnancy progresses, we’ll revisit the legal parentage process with your attorney, ensuring all legal rights are clearly established. Surrogacy laws vary by state, so consulting with your attorney about specific requirements is essential.

Preparing for Embryo Transfer

With medical and legal clearances in place, the next step in your surrogacy process is preparing for the embryo transfer. The clinic will design a medication calendar for your surrogate to follow before the transfer day. We encourage intended parents to join the surrogate at the clinic for this special moment!

Following the transfer, the surrogate will take a pregnancy test about ten days later. If positive, further tests will confirm rising hormone levels and an ultrasound will be performed roughly a month after the transfer to confirm the pregnancy’s viability. We can start preparing for another embryo transfer if the initial test is negative.

Pregnancy and Delivery

During the first trimester, the fertility clinic will monitor the pregnancy. Afterward, your surrogate’s prenatal care will transfer to her personal obstetrician. Throughout the pregnancy, you can communicate with your surrogate as much as you wish. Join her for medical appointments or stay in touch via text, phone, or Zoom.

As the second trimester progresses, we’ll work on establishing parentage and making arrangements for you to be at the hospital for your baby’s arrival. Our team will be there every step of the way, ensuring your surrogacy process is smooth and joyful.

Embarking on the surrogacy journey with My Donor Connection means having a supportive team by your side from start to finish. With care, dedication, and a little fun, we’ll make your surrogacy journey a wonderful experience!

Want to learn more about Surrogacy? Check out our Blog for helpful information about your surrogacy journey!

Ready to get started? Register today to gain access to our Surrogate Database, where you can expect to begin seeing profiles in as little as 2-3 weeks.