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Misconceptions about Surrogacy

Let’s talk about surrogacy – it’s a fantastic option for parents who are unable to carry a child on their own. Unfortunately, there are a lot of myths and misconceptions out there about surrogacy that are perpetuated by the media. So, let’s try to set the record straight!

Surrogacy is all about Compensation

One of the biggest surrogacy misconceptions is that surrogates do it for the money. While compensation is a factor, it’s unfair to assume that surrogates are only doing it for financial gain. The decision to become a surrogate is often rooted in a deep altruistic desire to help others experience the joy of parenthood. Many women are drawn to surrogacy out of genuine compassion for those who are unable to carry a child on their own. These women see pregnancy as a profound experience. Surrogates feel a calling to share that gift with individuals or couples longing to build their families. Their motivation stems from a selfless willingness to embark on a journey that transcends their own desires, driven by the belief that everyone deserves the chance to experience the love and fulfillment that comes with parenthood, regardless of biological obstacles.

Surrogates have legal rights to the child they carry

Some people worry that surrogates might change their minds and want to keep the baby. However, this is extremely rare. Surrogates undergo a rigorous screening process, including psychological testing and legal contracts, to ensure that they understand the terms of the arrangement and that any biological rights they may have are terminated. So, while it’s understandable to worry about this, it’s very unlikely to happen. While surrogates do care for the baby they’re carrying, they understand that they’re simply helping another couple become parents. It’s important to remember that surrogates aren’t “giving up” the baby – they’re giving the baby back to its intended parents.

Surrogates are the biological mother

Finally, another common surrogacy misconception is that some believe that the baby will be genetically related to the surrogate. This may have been true in the past, but now gestational surrogacy allows for the intended mother’s eggs and the intended father’s sperm (or donor eggs or sperm) to be used to create an embryo, which is then implanted in the surrogate. This means that the surrogate is simply carrying the intended parents’ biological child and is not genetically related to the baby.

 

Surrogacy can be an incredible option for intended parents who are unable to carry a child on their own. While there are myths and misconceptions out there, it’s important to remember that surrogates are doing this out of a desire to help others become parents and that the process is carefully regulated to ensure that everyone’s needs are met.

 

Intended Parents – looking to learn more? You can check out our Intended Parents page for more helpful resources.

Are you interested in becoming a Surrogate? Our Surrogacy page has helpful information, or you can contact us to schedule a consultation.

Take our quick 2-minute prescreen questionnaire to see if you are eligible!

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Anonymity in Egg Donation

 

Anonymous, open, semi-open: how do you decide what is best for you?

If you’re considering third-party reproduction, it’s important to know that you have options regarding the type of arrangement you enter into. Understanding anonymity in egg donation can be overwhelming. The decision of whether to go for anonymous, semi-open, or open egg donation can be challenging, so it is important to have a conversation with your agency to discuss what options are available to you based on the donor you select. You can also search using your preferences as part of your criteria! It is common for intended parents to tell me immediately that they will only consider moving forward with a known donation.

In recent years, many intended parents have expressed a desire to match with a donor who is willing to be contacted by any donor-conceived child in the future, should they have questions. Donors may also wish to be kept informed about the success of any cycles in which they participate. However, some intended parents and donors prefer a completely anonymous arrangement. It’s important to consider your decision’s impact on your life and any potential donor-conceived children.

Anonymous egg donation

Some donors apply with very clear boundaries and want their information kept confidential*. They will indicate in their profile they have a strong preference for an anonymouse donation. In those cases, the intended parents could not meet or contact their donor. There are times when we have an anonymous cycle, yet the donor agrees to be contacted by any donor-conceived children later in life.

Known egg donation

On the other hand, Known egg donation allows the intended parents to know the donor’s identity.  This can provide a greater connection to the donor and a more open and transparent process. An open donation may also involve more emotional complexities.  Most intended parents and donors are flexible – in which case, we can talk through their wishes and see if the other party is comfortalbe. There can be a lot of flexibility in defining a semi-open donation. It may include meeting in person, sharing first names, or agreeing to remain in contact through an intermediary or anonymous email.

There are pros and cons to anonymous and known egg donation. Consider what’s best for you and any potential donor-conceived children. We want you to make an informed decision so please get in touch with us if you have any questions or concerns. Remember, we’re here to support you every step of the way!

*Donor profiles contain significant information that could make it easy to learn their identity. A legal agreement will be in place that clearly outlines the agreed-upon arrangements and acceptable forms of contact (if any). With today’s technology, it is almost impossible to have complete anonymity in Egg Donation (at least from the donor side).

 

Want to learn more about Egg Donation? Check out our Blog for helpful information!

If you want to become an egg donor, take our quick 2-minute prescreen questionnaire to see if you qualify!

If you are an Intended Parent who is ready to start searching for your donor? Register today to gain access to our Donor Database.

 

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Surrogacy Process: What to expect!

Embarking on a surrogacy journey is both exciting and rewarding, and we’re here to make every step of the way as smooth and enjoyable as possible. Let’s walk through the surrogacy process together!

Finding a Gestational Surrogate

The first step in your surrogacy process is finding a gestational surrogate. Whether through a clinic, an agency, or a known surrogate like a friend or family member, the choice is yours. If you decide to work with My Donor Connection, one of our friendly team members will reach out to learn more about your needs and expectations and answer all your questions.

When ready, we’ll help you create a profile to share with potential surrogates. Once you find a promising match, we’ll send her medical records to your IVF clinic for approval and set up a Zoom meeting so you can get to know each other.

We put a lot of effort into finding the right match the first time, considering factors like health, age, experience, and openness to ongoing communication. We aim to connect you with a surrogate who aligns with your dreams and values.

Medical Screening

As your surrogacy journey continues, the next step is medical screening. Once matched, your surrogate will undergo thorough medical and psychological testing to ensure she’s in good health. This includes:

  • Physical and Pap smear
  • Infectious disease testing
  • Hysteroscopy (a procedure to examine the uterus and cervix)
  • Psychological evaluation and personality inventory
  • *Occasionally, a mock cycle may be recommended to see how the surrogate responds to the medications.

Legal Arrangements

Legal arrangements are a crucial part of the surrogacy process. Your attorney will draft a detailed agreement covering all aspects of the surrogacy arrangement. The surrogate will have her attorney assist with negotiations. Once the agreement is signed, you’ll fund an escrow account for all related expenses.

As the pregnancy progresses, we’ll revisit the legal parentage process with your attorney, ensuring all legal rights are clearly established. Surrogacy laws vary by state, so consulting with your attorney about specific requirements is essential.

Preparing for Embryo Transfer

With medical and legal clearances in place, the next step in your surrogacy process is preparing for the embryo transfer. The clinic will design a medication calendar for your surrogate to follow before the transfer day. We encourage intended parents to join the surrogate at the clinic for this special moment!

Following the transfer, the surrogate will take a pregnancy test about ten days later. If positive, further tests will confirm rising hormone levels and an ultrasound will be performed roughly a month after the transfer to confirm the pregnancy’s viability. We can start preparing for another embryo transfer if the initial test is negative.

Pregnancy and Delivery

During the first trimester, the fertility clinic will monitor the pregnancy. Afterward, your surrogate’s prenatal care will transfer to her personal obstetrician. Throughout the pregnancy, you can communicate with your surrogate as much as you wish. Join her for medical appointments or stay in touch via text, phone, or Zoom.

As the second trimester progresses, we’ll work on establishing parentage and making arrangements for you to be at the hospital for your baby’s arrival. Our team will be there every step of the way, ensuring your surrogacy process is smooth and joyful.

Embarking on the surrogacy journey with My Donor Connection means having a supportive team by your side from start to finish. With care, dedication, and a little fun, we’ll make your surrogacy journey a wonderful experience!

Want to learn more about Surrogacy? Check out our Blog for helpful information about your surrogacy journey!

Ready to get started? Register today to gain access to our Surrogate Database, where you can expect to begin seeing profiles in as little as 2-3 weeks.