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Misconceptions about Surrogacy

Let’s talk about surrogacy – it’s a fantastic option for parents who are unable to carry a child on their own. Unfortunately, there are a lot of myths and misconceptions out there about surrogacy that are perpetuated by the media. So, let’s try to set the record straight!

Surrogacy is all about Compensation

One of the biggest surrogacy misconceptions is that surrogates do it for the money. While compensation is a factor, it’s unfair to assume that surrogates are only doing it for financial gain. The decision to become a surrogate is often rooted in a deep altruistic desire to help others experience the joy of parenthood. Many women are drawn to surrogacy out of genuine compassion for those who are unable to carry a child on their own. These women see pregnancy as a profound experience. Surrogates feel a calling to share that gift with individuals or couples longing to build their families. Their motivation stems from a selfless willingness to embark on a journey that transcends their own desires, driven by the belief that everyone deserves the chance to experience the love and fulfillment that comes with parenthood, regardless of biological obstacles.

Surrogates have legal rights to the child they carry

Some people worry that surrogates might change their minds and want to keep the baby. However, this is extremely rare. Surrogates undergo a rigorous screening process, including psychological testing and legal contracts, to ensure that they understand the terms of the arrangement and that any biological rights they may have are terminated. So, while it’s understandable to worry about this, it’s very unlikely to happen. While surrogates do care for the baby they’re carrying, they understand that they’re simply helping another couple become parents. It’s important to remember that surrogates aren’t “giving up” the baby – they’re giving the baby back to its intended parents.

Surrogates are the biological mother

Finally, another common surrogacy misconception is that some believe that the baby will be genetically related to the surrogate. This may have been true in the past, but now gestational surrogacy allows for the intended mother’s eggs and the intended father’s sperm (or donor eggs or sperm) to be used to create an embryo, which is then implanted in the surrogate. This means that the surrogate is simply carrying the intended parents’ biological child and is not genetically related to the baby.

 

Surrogacy can be an incredible option for intended parents who are unable to carry a child on their own. While there are myths and misconceptions out there, it’s important to remember that surrogates are doing this out of a desire to help others become parents and that the process is carefully regulated to ensure that everyone’s needs are met.

 

Intended Parents – looking to learn more? You can check out our Intended Parents page for more helpful resources.

Are you interested in becoming a Surrogate? Our Surrogacy page has helpful information, or you can contact us to schedule a consultation.

Take our quick 2-minute prescreen questionnaire to see if you are eligible!

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Anonymity in Egg Donation

 

Anonymous, open, semi-open: how do you decide what is best for you?

If you’re considering third-party reproduction, it’s important to know that you have options regarding the type of arrangement you enter into. Understanding anonymity in egg donation can be overwhelming. The decision of whether to go for anonymous, semi-open, or open egg donation can be challenging, so it is important to have a conversation with your agency to discuss what options are available to you based on the donor you select. You can also search using your preferences as part of your criteria! It is common for intended parents to tell me immediately that they will only consider moving forward with a known donation.

In recent years, many intended parents have expressed a desire to match with a donor who is willing to be contacted by any donor-conceived child in the future, should they have questions. Donors may also wish to be kept informed about the success of any cycles in which they participate. However, some intended parents and donors prefer a completely anonymous arrangement. It’s important to consider your decision’s impact on your life and any potential donor-conceived children.

Anonymous egg donation

Some donors apply with very clear boundaries and want their information kept confidential*. They will indicate in their profile they have a strong preference for an anonymouse donation. In those cases, the intended parents could not meet or contact their donor. There are times when we have an anonymous cycle, yet the donor agrees to be contacted by any donor-conceived children later in life.

Known egg donation

On the other hand, Known egg donation allows the intended parents to know the donor’s identity.  This can provide a greater connection to the donor and a more open and transparent process. An open donation may also involve more emotional complexities.  Most intended parents and donors are flexible – in which case, we can talk through their wishes and see if the other party is comfortalbe. There can be a lot of flexibility in defining a semi-open donation. It may include meeting in person, sharing first names, or agreeing to remain in contact through an intermediary or anonymous email.

There are pros and cons to anonymous and known egg donation. Consider what’s best for you and any potential donor-conceived children. We want you to make an informed decision so please get in touch with us if you have any questions or concerns. Remember, we’re here to support you every step of the way!

*Donor profiles contain significant information that could make it easy to learn their identity. A legal agreement will be in place that clearly outlines the agreed-upon arrangements and acceptable forms of contact (if any). With today’s technology, it is almost impossible to have complete anonymity in Egg Donation (at least from the donor side).

 

Want to learn more about Egg Donation? Check out our Blog for helpful information!

If you want to become an egg donor, take our quick 2-minute prescreen questionnaire to see if you qualify!

If you are an Intended Parent who is ready to start searching for your donor? Register today to gain access to our Donor Database.

 

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The Surrogacy Process for Intended Parents

If you’re exploring surrogacy, you may be wondering what happens after that first conversation. There are people to meet, decisions to make, and a few different professionals involved. Let’s walk through the surrogacy process together.

This article focuses on gestational surrogacy, where the surrogate carries a pregnancy created through IVF and does not provide the egg.

Finding a thoughtful match

You may find a gestational surrogate through an agency, a clinic, or someone you already know. If you decide to work with My Donor Connection, we’ll talk with you about your needs and expectations and answer your questions.

When you’re ready, we’ll help you create a profile to share with potential surrogates. For a potential match, we’ll coordinate medical-record review with your IVF clinic and a Zoom meeting so you can get to know each other. Matching is a mutual decision. Both you and the surrogate need space to ask questions and consider whether the relationship feels right.

Talk about communication, appointment involvement, and the kind of relationship you each hope to have. Important views about pregnancy decisions also deserve careful discussion with the professionals supporting your arrangement.

There’s no single matching timeline for every family. We’ll discuss your preferences, share current expectations, and keep you informed as we explore potential matches.

Medical screening and counseling

The fertility clinic determines the medical evaluation and testing needed for your arrangement. This generally includes review of the surrogate’s health and pregnancy history, a physical examination, infectious-disease testing, and evaluation of the uterus. The clinic decides which specific tests or procedures are appropriate.

Psychological evaluation and counseling help the surrogate and intended parents explore expectations, support, and the emotional aspects of the journey. Intended parents and egg or sperm providers may also need screening or counseling. Your clinic will explain who needs what and when.

Legal arrangements and financial planning

You and your surrogate should each have independent legal counsel experienced in assisted reproduction. Your attorneys help you understand the agreement, responsibilities, financial arrangements, and the process for establishing parentage. Laws vary by state, so discuss the locations involved early.

Before treatment begins, the necessary agreement and legal clearance should be in place. Confirm the budget, insurance review, and escrow arrangements with the appropriate professionals. Parentage planning should begin with your attorney early in the process; the timing of legal steps depends on the applicable law.

Preparing for embryo transfer

With the required clearances in place, the clinic will explain the transfer plan and any medication calendar. Discuss whether you’ll attend with your surrogate and the clinic, including their preferences and visitor policies.

The clinic will schedule pregnancy testing and, if appropriate, follow-up blood tests and ultrasound. An initial positive test is one step in monitoring a developing pregnancy. If a transfer doesn’t result in pregnancy, give yourselves time to process the news. Your clinic can discuss what it learned and possible options. Another transfer depends on medical advice, available embryos, the agreement, and everyone’s willingness to continue.

Pregnancy and staying connected

After early monitoring, the fertility clinic will coordinate the transition to obstetric care. The timing depends on the care plan.

Agree on how you’ll stay in touch and revisit those expectations as the pregnancy progresses. Texts, calls, or joining appointments can help you feel connected when everyone is comfortable with the plan. Appointment participation and medical updates should respect your surrogate’s consent, privacy, and the provider’s policies. Her medical team guides her care.

Planning for delivery and afterward

Discuss hospital plans, travel, and parentage paperwork with your surrogate, attorneys, and care team before the due date. Leave room for plans to change based on medical needs and hospital policies. Include postpartum recovery and your expectations for contact after birth in these conversations.

My Donor Connection helps with matching and coordination. Your clinic manages fertility treatment, your surrogate’s obstetric team manages pregnancy care, and your independent attorneys handle legal advice. Knowing whom to call can make the next step feel more manageable.

Getting started

If you’d like to explore working with My Donor Connection, register to begin the conversation. Bring your questions, including the ones you’re still figuring out how to ask.

This article offers general education about gestational surrogacy. Consult your own medical team and independent attorney about your circumstances.

Sources and further reading